The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, wellness, and love .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify more tips here by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they check it out prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the click over here now partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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