The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to find this and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys great post to read specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," best site North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Numerous gay males desire to discover out from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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